5 going on 30

5 going on 30

"Would you rather be pretty or smart?"

"I'd rather be pretty, because I'd rather be beautiful than be nerdy."

- 8 year old slave to pageantry

I've been an avid viewer of the Tyra Show and among many topics of discussion, I found this idea of Toddlers & Tiaras the most disturbing. I didn't know what to think to see these pint sized pageant queens sashaying down the runway. Early domestication of etiquette? Affirming the conformities of the idealized media? Or the creepy uncle theory of fetishizing and sexualizing young girls? All of the above? My concern lies heavily in the caregivers turned part-time-coaches indulged in the alternate universe of glitz and glamour, encouraging and/or pushing their progeny into the limelight at the early age of 2. Following the title sequence, the live audience was greeted by two miniature pageant veterans at the age of 5, donned with embellished gowns and a mammoth tiara that was disproportionate to their bodies. Among one of the many things pageant kids are conditioned to be, it is courtesy to the host, so they presented a youthful play on roses made of chocolate Hersey kisses to Tyra. Of course, chocolate is every girl's, especially children's, best friend. Tyra happens to be very self-centered (gotta love her though!) and will find anyway to connect with her guests so she insisted, no politely demanded, that they join her in eating this chocolate creation. Boy, the look on these girls' faces were as if Tyra offered them to eat a deep fried hot dog wrapped in bacon , but I understood their hesitance shortly after. One girl commenced to take out her veneers, hiding the innocent crooked and gapped teeth of normal 5-year-olds, before accepting Tyra's offer. I don't remember what I was doing at age 5, but it was certainly not enhancing my aesthetics. This brings the audience to the next vignette of the two girls getting spray tanned. The younger of the two was so frightened of the pigment dye process as if she was in a gas chamber. So what does this all amount to? Money. And it's even more frightening to hear this come out of their own mouths. However, one Southern baby belle only wished for a cow with her $1000 cash prize which polarizes the materialism associated with money. Another wished to attend a snake farm. I know that underneath the layers of blush, foundation, powder, and lipstick lies real kids that would otherwise be neglected by their outward appearance. I hope these children will someday outgrow these pretentious personalities or that outward appearances over brains would land them success. Just be sure to know why a fifth of Americans can't locate the US on the world map.*

* Don't be as dumb as Miss South Carolina

** This marks as my 100th post!